Vacation Time

No sooner had I commended the Administration for charging a moderate fee to those people being transported out of Lebanon than they did an about face and decided to do it all for free. So every U.S. citizen living or visiting Beirut now gets a free ticket home to the United States. Well, I suppose that’s all well and good. After all, it’s not like I have to pay for it. Oh wait a minute; I guess I do have to pay for it, don’t I? You do too, huh? I guess it’s all right; maybe they’ll get jobs and pay taxes once they get settled in here. If not, they can always draw unemployment or welfare. It’s all a part of what you’re entitled to as an American citizen.

Speaking of what every citizen is entitled to, it seems that the government has set a new precedent. U.S. citizens are now entitled to a free trip home from overseas. This morning I did a little checking and I discovered that a one-way ticket from Cyprus to my local airport is worth about $1500. So it appears that I am entitled to a $1500 airline voucher from the government. That’s a pretty good deal, isn’t it?

Now I’m not too interested in international travel to war-torn countries at the moment so the Middle East and certain parts of the African continent are really out of the question. After careful consideration, I’ve decided that I would like to trade my one-way Cyprus to the U.S. ticket in for a round-trip ticket to Hawaii. Doing so would not only enable me to save money on travel expenses to reach my destination, but it would save the government quite a bit of money as well. A round trip ticket to Honolulu from my local airport is only about $900, so I’m saving the administration $600! I really doubt that they’ll find a better deal and most people wouldn’t even give them that big of a break. I’m also willing to sign a contract stating that if I am ever in a foreign country, I will provide for my own transportation home or failing that, I will reimburse the Federal government for its expenses to bring me home.

So there you have it. This crisis between Israel and Lebanon is going to work out well for everybody. It’s summertime, it’s vacation time, and I’m glad I didn’t have to waste my tickets on a one-way trip from Cyprus. If anybody knows whom to contact at the State Department about claiming my travel voucher, please let me know. Now about that two-night cruise to Cyprus…

Date Added: 23-07-2006